Over the past 15 days will remain deep marks in our history. I witnessed the history in which I could have wanted to die of shame ….have reach there once though, but I fell down and couldn’t make it……
Those kids on the streets, who were probably 10 or 15 years younger than me were all well organized, with their gas masks and so ever and they were not an amateur like me with only a handferchief covering my face.
While I fell down on my knees and thinking to myself that there was no escape from this and it is over, a girl approached and said “ Take off your googles and open your mouth” and she then sprayed something like milk. Another handed a bread which I ate without questionning where it might have come from….
I walked through the backyard of the park where the trees with their leaves ,which make me cry, blow the fresh air thorugh the face of those who can not breath due to gas. It was a breeze from the trees of the park just to thank those who didn2t let those tree to fall. It was the most beautiful and cleanest air I could have ever breath so far,..
“Don’t panic,, march slowly, and leave the mid way open ” they were shouting when we were moving back. How wise those kids were, if we could have moved back with a panic in that crowd we might have caused a caos but they were calming down everyone to avoid such mess. Those brave kids voice surrounds me and stands me up just as I was thinking I couldn’t breath and I was dying…. They formed a hallway for the wounded to pass through. One of them had bumped me while passing through this human hall but he has still have the sense to apologize although he was covered with blood …In the middle of a cloud of tear gas they were walking on their fnger tips to not to bump a one , or not to step on a tent which have been the symbol of this resistance. As I was feeling the failure, I raised my hope once again as the doctors in their white scrubs were passing through this human hall, to reach wounded, I walked by this hall, hall of life, to the rustle of trees…
Divan Hotel and many others like Ceylan Hotel open their doors to serve as infirmary….People in there connected with such high solidarity that they could find a lost girl via twitter almost in a second.
No electricity, it is complete dark yet I was still able to see the brightnes and beauty inside those people and park, well the tear gas might be makig me feel
that way but no matter the reason is, I saw the humanity and felt the brotherhood deep inside me, even in that difficult times…
People doesn’t leave park alone even a second they go home and have rest and come back there to keep occupying the park. This was not an option for me while I have my mother-in-law and her sisters and brothers saying “ we don’t let young to die, we should be the ones who are dying , let us go”. Those were the words of people who are from Dersim , who suffered the past of Dersim. I had to keep them far from the incidents…My wife , she must have seen the incidents , which you could only find from very limited media source , called and informed us that they (police forces) were approaching to Gezi Park. We lost each other while running away from the police forces but later found and went back home…I was watching my little baby, with eyes filled with tears, he was sleeping in his cradle, put a kiss on his head….I have the faith and hope but at the same time I feel like I have lost some of it which confuses me, but most of all I feel devastated, since I can not take him there, to Gezi Park, to see “Revolution the library” (this is how Gezi Park protestors call their collective little book store ) or “beleş” market where everything is for free. I feel devastated because they (police forces) burned it down all…But I feel happy to have my last breath to curse them…. My deepest greetings and sinceres to you ,my friends, who can still raise the faith in me … as long as you persist, the darkness shall not get us, I am sure of it… we haven’t been defeated yet and this is only the beginning… the fascism will get drowned in its own blood…
Excerpt from www.eksisozluk.com
11 June 2013
This post is also available in: Turkish